Movie Review: Sex and the City

What I'm Listening To: Never Even Told Me Her Name by Air Traffic

Remember like six months ago, when everyone (okay, I mean women) flocked to the theaters to see the Sex and the City movie? Yeah, uh, that wasn't me. But hey, I made a point to put it on my Netflix want list, it showed up, Jim's in the basement playing on his compy, so I took this opportunity to watch the movie, and, of course, share my findings with you. Enjoy!

How can you be female and admit that you hadn't seen some episode of the Sex and the City tv series? (For a while, though, I thought it was called Sex IN the City, which totally makes more sense, right?) I'm pretty sure I've seen all the seasons, but I could be wrong. Back in the olden days, when I lived alone on Humboldt in this teensy, dark and sad little apartment (oh, and I think I was clinically depressed too -- hey, you be the judge!), my pretty regular weekend ritual was to go to the Cousins around the corner from my house, order two 6" Italian subs with no tomato (oh, they're for my friend, she's waiting at home. Yeah, riiiiight!) and then go to the Blockbuster and get a couple episodes of Sex and the City, and spend the rest of my waking weekend hours lying on the couch and stuffing my gaping maw. FUN!

Glued to the screen, I actually believed that Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and Samantha were kinda my FRIENDS. (On a side note, why couldn't these women have regular names, like Jenny, Cindy, Jo Anne and Michelle? Not glam enough, I guess) I mean, the characters all sorta got on my nerves, and the outlandish outfits and label mania just seemed really ridiculous, but it was comforting to know that even hotsie-totsie New York women (read: seriously attractive and rich women with little to do all day but have long lunches and wear get-ups that even Cloris Leachman would turn up her nose at) got the short end of the stick on the dating scene just like I did. So when I struck out at the bars (oh, like that happened! Ha!) I could go home and commiserate with Carrie and Company, because even though my shoes were from Payless and I liked a nice vodka tonic a lot better than any cosmo, we were all waiting at the Lonely Hearts bus stop for the Love Shuttle. Ha!

I was kinda scared to watch the movie because I thought I might like it, but it turned out okay. From a technical standpoint, it was a nicely assembled piece of work. Straightforward storyline, helpful background review, fun music, and all the accoutrements of the show. So fine, there you go, a happy little movie.

But you know I'm never satisfied! I wish this movie had gone to ridiculous and fantastic lengths to end the whole franchise with a real bang, if you know what I mean. In my version, Miranda takes Brady to Central Park to shoot Uzi's at male tourists, Samantha starts her own porno film studio, Charlotte immerses herself in her new religious life and moves to Israel, and Carrie is so broke from spending all her money on clothes and purses that she ends up working at Famous Footwear.

But no. In a nutshell, the story stayed true to form. BORING. Carrie finds true love with Big. Carrie loses true love. Carrie finds true love again and yay! love rules the day. The other characters had their own story lines as well (can't forget about nympho Samantha, career-obsessed Miranda or hopelessly-removed-from-reality Charlotte), but they were so insipid and so incredibly far removed from what I had experienced from the television show that it was almost painful to watch them in these watered-down cliche scenarios. By the end of the film, I had to look away in disgust. Sad.

I think the only good thing about this film was the emphasis on the importance of friends in our lives. So give your friends a hug and tell them the next drink's on you! :) Oh, and skip this movie, if you have any respect for women at all. We're not all enraptured by a pair of Manolos or a Louis Vuitton purse...seriously!