Bars, restaurants and the general notion of eating.

What I'm Listening To: Ninja of Love by Freezepop

Last night Jim and I actually went to see a play. This is an event in and of itself, because I really don't like live theater (Like there's a dead theater. ha ha!) Anyway, I wasn't disappointed with my decision to stay away from the bright lights, because the play was really bad. The material was dated, the set was boring and all I could think about as I sat on the world's hardest folding chair (next to the world's most coughing-est woman -- sheesh, stay home when you're sick, people!) was how I could have done a better acting job than the lead actress. I mean, who am I to say I'm a better actress than a woman who, according to her bio in the program, has "two kids, an adorable husband and one neurotic poodle"? Yeah, I'm totally outclassed. But enough about my missed opportunities as this year's Meryl Streep.

Before the play, we went to Yaffa's, a restaurant on Wells that's close to the theater, for free appetizers and drink specials, which was part of the ticket deal. Turns out Yaffa's is closing. I don't know if you've been to Yaffa's before, but it's like a Moroccan-themed restaurant with a great Middle Eastern-tinged menu. We've eaten at Yaffa's a couple times, and it was always tasty, even if the service was a little slow.

Yaffa served these decent if uninspired appetizers last night -- ribs, nachos, and hummus, basically. After two heaping plates of sticky ribs and messy nachos, we were starving for some sugar. And lucky for us, they had just put out some mega-donut holes doused in cinnamon sugar. We all had like three apiece. It was amazing, and of course, the sugar made me all giggly and slap-happy when we got to the theater. After making up three snort-filled songs about our fellow play attendees (uh, no one was under 60, btw) and their various outfits (Mildred, her muumuu and her urinary tract infection were featured predominately in a few of these tunes), I finally settled down to watch this sad tale of woe, love and tomfoolery.

Okay, so back to my original story. Uh, news flash people: As of the end of February, Yaffa's will be turned into a BREW PUB. (Click on the link to learn more) OMG, isn't that the most ORIGINAL IDEA EVER? It's not like there aren't 5 other brew pub/fish fry joints within a two mile radius of Yaffa's. Gee, where'd you get that idea???

You know, Milwaukee's restaurant selection is just boring as hell. I know we are in the middle of one of the worst economic periods in American history, but does that mean that we all just give in and start catering to the lowest common denominator in food? Does losing your job mean that you lose your taste buds, that all people want to eat anymore is a greasy hamburger and fries? I can STILL count on one hand the number of exotic eateries we have in town, and two of them are located in a strip mall. Jeeez, dullsville, hey? And that was BEFORE October.

So what's a nice West Alien to do, huh? When Jim and I decide to take a break from the soy burgers and steamed veggies, I want to have a gastronomic experience to remember for at least a week. A good hour or two of stuffing my gaping maw full of yummy food that's worth my money. I want delicious treats, great service and a nice place to eat it in. But noooooooooooo! I have yet to find the trifecta of restaurant perfection, the balance between price, service and food. It's either the price is too high and the food sucks, or the service is terrible but the food is fantastic, or worst of all, they're out of paper towels in the restroom. Come on, Milwaukee!

I'm sure someone's gonna read this and start reeling off all the fancy, fun, and tasty restaurants I haven't tried yet. Or tell me how great old standbys like Real Chili or Jimmy Johns is like manna from heaven to their parched lips...yeah, at 3 AM, maybe. Whatevs. I'm still on the lookout for "our restaurant", and we've gone to a lot of places around town. But ever since we started watching our waistlines we've stayed home more, so maybe I should just shut up now.

Well, I know you're going to tell me. What's your favorite restaurant, and why? And no offense, but if one more person tells me that they think that the Pasta Tree is the most romantic and awesome restaurant in Milwaukee, please don't waste your breath. I would rather eat a hot dog off the floor of that Judy's Red Hots on Locust than spend a dime at the Pasta Tree. Sorry. :)

PS - We're going to Old Town for Valentine's Day. So there! I heart Serbians!