The Golden What? Another Movie Review.

What I'm Listening To: Tar Heart by Zeigeist

Remember a couple weeks ago? When it was the holidays? And I told you we were stuck in the house because nothing was open, everyone was busy with family stuff and it was awful snowy out? Yeah, well, we kept ourselves entertained by watching movies on DirecTV. Lots and lots of movies. Movies we would have never watched otherwise, like Definitely Maybe and (yes, I'm cringing too) Big Momma's House. What made this movie marathon even more fun is that I was kinda PMS'y, so I actually started tearing up a little when Martin apologized in front of the entire church and asked forgiveness for being a Big Momma impostor. That's just wrong.

One of the movies we watched was The Golden Compass. I'm not going to do a whole plot synopsis for you, so there's a link to the Wikipedia article so you can read the whole thing for yourself.). The movie is based on the three novel Dark Materials series by author Phillip Pullman.

We tuned in about a quarter of the way into the movie, but we were drawn in immediately. Daemons? Sassy blonde kids? Ice bears? And it's all set in a parallel universe similar to England? Sheesh, twist my arm, whydoncha?

And don't get me started about Nicole Kidman as Mrs. Coulter, the evil villianess. I read a lot of gossip blogs, and they all rag on her about how her forehead never moves because of all the Botox she uses and how could she have had her baby Sunday because 20 minutes after she was born Nicole was back at her size zero weight again and how Keith Urban is gay and how Nicole's a terrible mother because she never wants to visit her adopted kids with Tom Cruise in LA, etc etc.

But in this movie, I couldn't have cared if she had a unicorn horn and crossed eyes -- SHE IS A GODDESS. Her face, and this is in HD, people, is FLAWLESS. She is luminous. She looks unreal, skin like alabaster, bright blond hair, sky blue eyes, and just basically frighteningly perfect, like the undead or something. So perfect, I imagine when she farted on set it smelled like flowers. Seriously! And her outfits -- OMG! They are totally 40's inspired, and are just to die for (no pun intended! ha ha!). Her voice is super scary, too. Shiver!

Okay, I loved her, but just for this movie. Every other movie I've seen with her, she seems like she's half-dead or something -- she's always so flat. I can't believe how perfect she is here. I read that she turned down the role at first, and then Phillip Pullman wrote her a personal letter, and she relented and agreed to star. Good choice!

But of course I have to reference the whole "this movie is against Christianity" uproar that surrounded this movie, and pulled down the box office take. There's a lot to read on this debate, and you may or may not agree with all the ideas, accusations and interpretations of the book and the movie. So I'll sidestep this little nugget of excitement -- just read all the Wikipedia article links in the original film link above and form your own opinion. Either way, it'll make for a lively lunch discussion!

Basically, this movie is PG-13, so little kids probably won't be asking for a stuffed ice bear for their birthdays. It has a smidge of violence in it (I had to hide under my blanket a couple times. "Is it over yet, Jim?" I kept saying until he told me it was okay to look. ha!) It was just ... cool. I liked it. I cried a bit when the ice bears fought. I laughed at the antics of the daemons. Oh, I don't know, maybe it was the PMS, but I came away from this movie feeling better rather than worse. And that's always a good thing.

BTW, I looked for some plush ice bears on Amazon and EBay -- no such luck. Sad! If you see any, send me the link! And I'll keep an eye out for the sequel, too!